Read the beginning of Denise’s personal narrative. Student Work 1. Mr. Thompson loves teaching science. 2. Every single day, he becomes very excited about what he is talking about. 3. He waves his hands around, and asks, “Isn’t this amazing?” 4. All of his students love his enthusiasm. What problem needs to be fixed in Denise’s narrative?
Answer
A
Denise needs to add a strong example of Mr Thompson’s enthusiasm.
B
Denise needs to add a time relationship between sentences 3 and 4.
C
Denise needs to include herself as a character in the narrative.
D
Denise needs to change the pronoun “he” to the pronoun “we.”
Explanation
A personal narrative tells about an experience from the writer’s perspective, so Denise should include herself as a character in what happened. The sentences describe Mr. Thompson and his students generally, but they do not show Denise’s own experience or reactions. The detail about his waving his hands already gives an example of his enthusiasm.
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