Read the two introductory paragraphs representing a first draft and a revision of a narrative about making a difficult choice.First Draft: Last week, I won two tickets to see the hottest band in the country perform. I will never forget the anticipation I felt waiting to find out if I was the lucky caller. The only problem was that I would have to choose who to go with me: Jackie or Sharon.Revision: Last week, I won two tickets to see the hottest band in the country perform. I was on pins and needles as I hung on the line, dying to see if I was the lucky caller. The only problem was that I would be forced to make a choice between my two best friends. Should I invite Jackie or Sharon?
Answer
A
hyperbole and figurative language
B
sensory details and precise adjectives
C
simile and figurative language
D
metaphor and strong verbs
Explanation
The revision uses figurative language in “on pins and needles,” which describes anxious anticipation without meaning the speaker is literally covered in pins and needles. “Dying to see” is also an exaggeration, or hyperbole, that emphasizes how eager the speaker was. These changes make choice A, “hyperbole and figurative language,” the best answer.
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