Read the student thesis.There have been many studies about the effect of too much television on children and whether it is harmful or beneficial.The best way to improve this thesis is to

The thesis identifies the topic—television’s effects on children—but does not make a claim about whether too much television is harmful or beneficial. A stronger thesis clearly takes a position, such as arguing that too much television harms children. Therefore, the best improvement is to clearly take a position or side.

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